Blog 7 – a knock-over dolor lumbar tratamiento surprise – the art of co-creating

Recap: even though zani and jake both act as if they dolor lumbar tratamiento never had the baby conversation, zani is right back at her computer googling ‘perfect parents’ – to have a goal to work towards, of course. This morning, as usual, her nose is glued to the screen.

But then something rather unexpected happens. Jake calls and invites me to lunch. Jake never does something as spontaneous as this – certainly not during office hours on a weekday – and I am briefly tempted to say I can’t make it, make up some excuse (I need to get back to the list!), but something tells me I shouldn’t be fobbing him off, not at this delicate stage in our ‘negotiations’, so I agree to meet him at our favourite coffee dolor lumbar tratamiento shop.

We both order the chef’s special, a cappuccino for me and an espresso for jake. (I can’t help myself and my mind swings back to what dolor lumbar tratamiento my research said about caffeine in the sperm-development programme …) jake looks very serious as he slides a file of dolor lumbar tratamiento documents across the table to me. Gingerly, I lift the cover and look at the page on dolor lumbar tratamiento top. I duly burst into tears. “what? You didn’t want me to do it?”

We forget all about our food. We laugh and laugh, especially about all the silly bits he has pulled off dolor lumbar tratamiento the net, like if all the cells in a human body were dolor lumbar tratamiento joined end to end, they would stretch for 1000 kilometres – the distance between rome and paris.

With notebook, pen and jake’s file safely tucked away in my big, bulky but oh-so-trendy handbag, I drive back to work, keen to jump right into the pile of work on dolor lumbar tratamiento my desk with absolute dedication. Remember, I still need to prove that I’m grown-up and responsible and therefore qualified to be a mommy. But prove myself to whom? Jake? The trio – dread, anxiety and fear?

That’s the one thing about me that really irritates jake dolor lumbar tratamiento – my lack of self-esteem. He gives me loads of love, acceptance and understanding and even a generous portion of admiration dolor lumbar tratamiento on a daily basis, but it never seems to be enough. As quickly as he gives it, it all just seeps through those holes, and if it doesn’t seep out fast enough, the terrible trio start to drain it all away.

Please understand, jake is my fuel station – he’s the only one who manages to keep my bucket dolor lumbar tratamiento full. If he’s not there to shower me with love, acceptance, understanding and admiration, I often feel ugly, worthless and useless. And poor self-worth welcomes dread, anxiety and fear. Fortunately, today my bucket is overflowing and I feel on top dolor lumbar tratamiento of the world.

It’s not that easy to focus when the bucket is dolor lumbar tratamiento overflowing with love and joy because of a simple ‘jake’ file tucked away in my bag. That file is living proof that jake has really heard dolor lumbar tratamiento me, and is contemplating things in his own way and at dolor lumbar tratamiento his own pace. That is a good sign. A very good sign.

It is a long, long afternoon at the office. However, I do manage to sneak a quick minute to google dolor lumbar tratamiento ‘ valentine’s meal’ – it isn’t valentine’s day, I know, but I want to lay my hands on a menu dolor lumbar tratamiento for a romantic dinner for jake. It isn’t long before I find one, print it out and tuck it in the preconceptual care dolor lumbar tratamiento file, smiling to myself. How appropriate is that!

At 5pm on the dot, I grab my bag and race to the shops to dolor lumbar tratamiento buy all the ingredients, pick up a bottle of wine and jake’s favourite dark chocolates. (note to self: check that darn sperm-development programme for anything that may be on the ‘no-go’ list!)